Roses or Bills?


Could you date someone who is struggling or broke? I've heard so many answers to this question, and all of them are different. Some say yes because they are "ride or die’s”and others say maybe but it really depends on the struggle. I've even heard some say "HELL NO" because they have been there and aren't looking to go back. 

There is this opinion that men can dish it out but cant take it. Meaning that they demand understanding for their "situation" but cant understand why a woman would need time to "get it together". I can't say that I disagree with that at all. I've heard my guy friends drag for a woman that is trying to reach her glow up and then look me in my face and say "But Maya,  you're definitely wife material because you hustle like a man". That may be true but I didn't get to where I am (or where I am going) without struggling, I've had PLENTY of hard times and I didn't grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth. So I have to ask the question... what is the big deal with everyone wanting to date or be with someone who has already got their "SHIT" together? It overly romanticized in my opinion because EVERYONE has that luggage of bullshit that comes rolling behind them. Bag or no bag. Coin or no coin.

Most, if not all of us are still in our rookie season and walking around as if we've stepped ahead of the game because we have a job, car, and our own little "700 sqft" apartment with a balcony over looking your community pool. Miss me with that bullshit. You can't seriously think that a degree and job make you better or more prepared.. Do you? Every persons situation is different, so what makes your situation better?  Instead of pouting about what a person doesn't have, how about we observe how they are handling their situation. “What are you doing to change your situation?” “Are you a cry baby?” “Is something always happening to you or are you just letting things happen to you?” These are critical components to dating someone in their ”struggle season”. Life is 10% of what happened to you and 90% of how you deal with it. 

These days a lot of people have such a habit of being overly critical of everyone else's "lifestyle", they forget that their own roses really smell like "boo boo". Remember "For every side eye given, another bag is received". So what are you doing? Smelling roses or securing the bag? 


With Love,

Lou <3

Maya Johnson